Yes, I use Tinder and I am not ashamed of it. I am not alone, many single (and a few non single people) use it too. The story usually goes as a friend recommends you to use it and you give it a try, as was my case when a couple of friends mentioned it the same week.
The trend to have dates from online apps is increasing in Finland and in many other countries although there is still a certain taboo to talk about it. But the reality is here, we live in a fast paced world busy with work and hobbies and studies and friends and there is a point where is not so easy to find nice interesting people in everyday life. Here applications such as Tinder make our life easier, simple to use and start chatting with people you consider attractive.
I want to divide this series of articles about Tinder in two parts. The second part will go to share simple but effective tips to other male users about what I think that works the best and what not in Tinder when you are a male user in Finland. This first part I just wanted to share my thoughts about the many female profiles I have seen through the months.
I want to make clear that I write this as a sarcastic and humoristic article. We are far from surprised when we see in women’s magazines articles about what the men SHOULD NOT do in a date or in their profiles online, but we seem to forget how funny can be to apply those rules when you see Tinder from male eyes. So I just wanted to write a list of what NOT TO DO for women who would use Tinder. I guess that some people could be offended for what is written here. Please do not. Just take it not so seriously as a male opinion, some things said here could be agreed by many other men or some women and some things here are very personal views that maybe are totally distorted, but at the bottom, this is just to put a smile on your face when you reflect about what is written here and maybe a thought could come to your mind such as “I have seen that in a profile too!
WHAT NOT TO DO FOR WOMEN IF YOU HAVE A TINDER PROFILE. 18 GOLDEN TIPS ON THINGS TO IMPROVE THAT YOU COULD SEE IN A WOMAN’S PROFILE:
1. Please put a photo there if you want to use your profile.
Empty profiles with no photos do not say anything to us men. We are visual animals, we are not going to like your profile thinking that you can be the shy princess of our dreams and when we chat, then you will send an amazing picture of a beautiful lady. We want to see how you look like, and we want to see it clear, not with a blurry photo or a photo copied from a Disney movie. If your profile is empty, we will think you are just stalking here for the sake of it, which in some cases could be true.
2. Social yes, but no need to overdo it.
It is cool you show a photo with your friends, but there is no need that you are surrounded by friends in every photo. In fact, if that happens, we will not know who you are among the group. Also, if your friends are hotter than you, that is not going to play in your favour, as most of guys will think that would be nicer to date your friend than you. Post one photo with friends if you wish to show you are not a loner, but think which one you choose.
2. We do not like pictures where you appear with other guys in a loving attitude.
I have seen all kind of these pictures, from some with the gay friends to others that look obvious you appear with the ex boyfriend (or maybe still boyfriend) or the ex husband. This is a dating site and it is really a turn off for a man to see you looking with loving puppy eyes to other guy. Special mention to those women who post photos with a wedding dress or in a wedding ceremony. Most guys will reject your profile faster than you said yes to your ex husband in your wedding ceremony.
3. No children please.
You cannot imagine the amount of women’s profiles that show photos of their babies and children. Children are great, we agree, I love my daughter’s children. The problem is that I do not think that a dating app. is a place to post photos of your children. You do not know who is looking at the other side and nowadays takes 1 second to take a screenshot of a photo. Yes, I understand many women want to make clear they “come with a package” and they have family, but honestly, you can tell about that later when chatting. And if the point to show your children is that you are secretly looking for the next father, relax, 95% of the guys do not want that kind of pressure from date one.
5. The gym selfies.
Many women have told me they find stupid the male’s profiles where they take selfies without t-shirt in the gym. Well, these kind of pictures are also commonly posted by girls. Imagine actually how ridiculous is the situation to have to stand in front of your gym’s mirror waiting for nobody to being around to snap a photo of the great workout you just had… Yes, surely we like fit women, but you do not need to post all your five profile photos at the gym. As far as you look nice and take care of yourself, in fact we do not give a fuck if you do a lot of sports or not, off the record for many guys is actually a turn off if you happen to have more muscles than them. So it is cool you like doing sports but no need to show only that side of your life, if you happen to live all day every day at the gym, then probably you are missing other important things in life, like reading a good book…
4. “I love my pets among all the things on the surface of the Earth.”
Yes, you have cats or dogs and you love them. Sure, we men love animals too. But we do not get depressed when our cat suffers from diarrhea. Point here is that surely a photo with your cat or dog is cute, but there is no need to post all five with them. It will end up giving us the impression that you are suffering some case of life crisis where you do not have much social life and you get surrounded by animals to balance the lack of affection from friends or lovers. Which could not be such a wrong shot in some cases…
5. I want to look ugly on purpose so you will fall in love with me just for who I truly am inside!
We do not need that you look like the Queen of Saba in your first profile picture, but surely we men like if you post a nice photo, not blurry and not wearing your most horrible pyjamas while putting a mockery face to the camera. This is a dating app. Try to present yourself at your best. And please smile, it does not cost so much and it makes a huge difference.
8. The cliché sentences in the description.
“I am selfish, impatient and a little insecure… etc etc”. Do those lines ring a bell? Probably, as the infamous words by Marilyn Monroe appear copied in one of every twenty female profiles you see around.
Well, let me break the news from you. First, you are not Marilyn Monroe, sadly but she is dead. The same I happen not to be George Clooney or Brad Pitt. And most of rational men would hopefully run away from people who are selfish, impatient and insecure. So if you think that those lines from Marilyn define your personality, I would say that you have a problem in your life and you should seek for assistance. There are other classics that most women use like “Live, love laugh” or super philosophical things like “you make your own luck” or “you can be as happy as you choose to be” etc.
Well, all those great lines really do not say much to us men. We do not choose how happy we are when we have a huge loan to pay back to the bank or our boss is busting our balls at the office on daily basics. If we would choose to be happy, then we would choose to win the Eurojackpot and buy our own island in Caribe surrounded by an army of hot bisexual models that would assist all and every one of our needs. But we cannot choose that. So why don’t you put something nice and simple about what are your tastes and what kind of person you think you truly are? Believe me, if you like sci-fi movies or videogames, you already have gained half of a heart of a man. The other half comes if you give great head, but yeah, we are not expecting that you share that kind of info in your profile description.
9. According to most tall girls in Tinder, short guys can shoot themselves and die fast.
Classic beginning of a profile description: “1.76 cm” followed by some other couple of words. So like really..? The most important feature of yourself is how tall you are? Yes, I know I know is a clear message that says “I do not like shorter guys than me”. Well girl, in that case, you are really missing to get to know a lot of great guys out there. I personally find so impolite when the first sentence a girl writes to you is to ask “how tall are you?” How would a woman feel if a man wrote in the description that only expects to meet girls with boobs DD size and up?
Height is something that a man cannot change, same than age. Remember girls your ex was probably a tall guy and that did not stop him from being a fucking asshole. It is not like you gain more neurones per centimetre grown…
10. Posting the same photo.
You have 4 photos posted in your profile and they are just the same photo repeated 4 times. We got the idea with the first one, thank you.
11. Everybody can follow how mega super hyper cool I am in Instagram.
This is almost a rule in the description field of most hot young girls, to include in the description field their Instagram user name. I personally do not use Instagram, but even if I use it, I do not see the point in Tinder. Yes, we already saw in your pics in Tinder that you look fine, then what we want is chat with you and set a date. We do not need to see your other 100 photos in Instagram of your cats, what you prepare for breakfast and how nice was the beach in Thailand where you were last summer. Maybe some chicks just expect a model hunter recognizes them as the next super top model. Probably many just do it to show off because girls love attention, we have to recognize it. Point is that we do not care so much what is your Instagram account. Say something about yourself instead: are you a person with a good heart, friend of her friends, faithful and trustful? At least those features seemed to matter not so long time ago apart from how great you look tanned at the beach…
Remember that Tinder is full of beautiful young girls and competence is ferocious. Try to make a difference and show that you are more than a nosed up girl who only craves attention.
12. “Why am I framed as an easy party girl?”
Number one complaint of women in Tinder is probably that most guys want sex. Well, I do not want to enter to argue about that, as I do not like the old cliché of “all men being perverts and all women innocent flowers”. I guess everybody likes sex in good company when chemistry kicks in. But the perception of the guys is not gonna be exactly as you are girlfriend material if your pics, specially your profile pic, shows yourself half naked or with your boobs about to jump out of your dress, or if in every one of your five photos you are holding an alcoholic beverage and partying in the club. And yeah, for us men there is no big difference between you wearing a tiny bikini and sexy underwear, we know the tiny bikini it is just the socially accepted way you can show most of your flesh. Just saying.
Note: profiles with photos of beautiful women that state in the description they want straight sex and contain a url link to a site are 100% always fake.
13. “I have so super healthy lifestyleeee and you have to be like me.|
Yes, you are addicted to gym, you do yoga and drink smoothies and you do not smoke. Great for you. A man does not need to be like you. Men want to date a girl, but that does not mean we want to go to train every day to the gym with that girl or we have to quit smoking because of you or not drinking beer anymore or having to join zumba lessons just cause you love it. It is good you take care of yourself. Just do not make it an obsession like if any man who does not live as healthy as you is not worthy to talk to.
14. I love travelling!
Well, guess what, everybody loves travelling! But sadly most people have to work to pay bills, so it is not like you can travel every week. I appreciate well-travelled women as it really avoids having a narrow-minded perception of the world, but really, you do not need to show off in all your photos how many amazing trips you have done. The sad reality is that probably most of the days after work you just arrive home, put on the pyjamas and lay on the sohva watching your favourite TV series and eating candy while daydreaming of that prince in shiny armour, tall, sporty, rich, kind and amazing lover that you never seem to find in Tinder.
15. Flashback in time.
In the first photo you look cute and thin and then in every next picture you look older and older and more overweight. Yeah, it is true we men are a bit blind to notice changes in women, but believe me, if your first pic is taken 15 years younger than the last one, we will notice. And unfortunately for overweighed girls, just because you post photos showing only your face, it does not mind we will not realize what you are trying not to show there.
16. “I am just looking for new friends!”
Right, maybe you want to make it believe that to your friends, couple, husband or even in some kind of self denial to yourself. But we know this is a dating app. and you are scanning the market if “somebody special” pops up to spice up your life. And deep inside you, you know it too…
17. “I am just looking for a serious boyfriend, not casual dating nor one night stands”
Is not putting a little bit of too much pressure from first date to look for only your next husband (or ex husband). Besides, probably 80% who say they do not look for one night stands from Tinder is because actually they have had one night stands with guys from Tinder.
18. The men hater style.
Other classical female profile, usually posting sexy photos while telling in the description how she hates players and she knows everything as she has been around followed by a long list of the kind of guys that is better never to meet. Well, this is a dating app., so is this not about going with open mind to meet interesting people how this should work?
If your view is that all men suck, then maybe you should not use Tinder or just select to see other female profiles if you are into women. There are some lines I have seen in women’s profiles such as “I love more my dogs than any man I have met” that are really offensive and sexist towards men, and probably if a man would write something similar about women, he would be labelled in 0.1 seconds as a chauvinistic pig. A man should not have to apologize for being a man the same that no woman should have to apologize for being a woman; equality rules as far as there is respect.
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And after that list, many readers could think. Ok, so then men do not like any kind of profile at all? Not true. I am not going to deny that most men are simple straightforward creatures, so probably just with a couple of very sexy pics, you will have the 95% of male matches secured. But we are talking here not just about the looks, but about how to present yourself attractive in general as a quality woman, not just like a piece of ass in a thong to have men fantasizing about you.
Having a nice and attractive female profile is not so difficult, and in fact women know much better than men how to select the photos that suit them best. Just select some photo where you look nice, no need to overdo it with the sexiest dress in the world or tones of make up but make the effort to select a photo where you feel pretty at your best and you have made an effort to look good, just with some nice photos of you and one of a hobby would do, followed by some short description of what floats your boat, what are your passions, hobbies or what kind of people you would like to meet. No need to write the Bible there either, you can chat more later. Be honest, be friendly and be nice. And if you have good sarcastic sense of humor, show that too, we men love a woman with good sense of humour who does not take things too serious and is not a drama queen.
There will be farther a lot of time to chat or talk face to face and get to know each other. Remember, try not to be too bitchy from the beginning, because in fact, when your profile is dismissed, there are tones of other pretty girls in the line. So be yourself, be positive, be friendly and be a bit flirty too if you wish so. There are many cool guys out there waiting for your match, and life is too short to waste great company!